Rethinking Positive Thinking

Many attempts at change begin pleasantly: we imagine being fitter, responding more calmly, finally learning regularly or having more time for the people who matter to us.

But why does an attractive vision so often fail to produce actual change?

This question is at the heart of Gabriele Oettingen's book Rethinking Positive Thinking. The psychologist has researched motivation and self-regulation for decades. Her work challenges a widespread assumption: that we merely need to believe positively and intensely enough in our wishes to move towards them.

The alternative is not pessimism. It is about consciously connecting wishes and reality. This led to WOOP – a brief self-regulation method comprising Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan: the wish, the best possible outcome, the obstacle and the plan.

1. An attractive vision can motivate – but also reassure

A desired future matters. We need an idea of where we want to go. Problems arise when imagining it already creates a sense of fulfilment.

Oettingen's research shows that purely positive fantasising does not automatically increase effort. Under certain conditions, it can even make us feel we have mentally arrived while nothing has changed in everyday life.

This partly explains the classic problem with resolutions. “From now on, I will exercise regularly” or “I will finally become calmer” feels good at the moment of deciding. But Monday morning, tiredness, a full calendar or an old habit still stands between the wish and the behaviour.

The crucial question is therefore not only: What do I wish for? But also: What stands in my way in my particular situation?

2. Look beyond the external problem to your own obstacle

This is where WOOP becomes particularly interesting. After identifying the wish and desired outcome, attention turns to the obstacle. This primarily means the inner obstacle: a habit, feeling, assumption or behaviour that prevents us from putting the wish into practice.

Someone who wants to learn more may discover that the core problem is not a lack of time, but reaching for their smartphone as soon as learning becomes difficult. Someone who wants to handle conflict more constructively may realise that the central obstacle is not the other person, but their own impulse to immediately prove themselves right.

Oettingen calls this connection between a desired future and present reality mental contrasting. It can help us assess wishes more realistically: does this really matter to me? Is it achievable under my present conditions? And, if so, what am I likely to stumble over first?

This offers a different view of personal development. The obstacle is more than a nuisance. It provides information about where development could actually begin.

3. Turn the obstacle into an if–then plan

WOOP therefore does not end with insight. In the final step, a concrete plan is formulated for the central obstacle.

For example:

If I automatically reach for my phone while learning, then I will put it in another room for the next ten minutes.

Or:

If I notice during a difficult conversation that I want to contradict someone immediately, then I will ask a follow-up question first.

These if–then links aim to connect the desired response with the critical moment in advance. Development then depends less on whether we can summon enough motivation or self-discipline at that precise moment.

This is an important distinction: a goal describes where we want to go. The plan describes what we will do when the very thing that has previously held us back happens.

What we take from this

Oettingen's work is particularly interesting to the Future Skills Institut because it touches on a central idea in our development approach: Formulating a vision or identifying a relevant Future Skill is not enough.

Development takes place under real conditions. Time, energy, habits, pressures and personal patterns differ between people. The same developmental wish can therefore require very different next steps.

WOOP offers no guarantee and is not a universal recipe for every problem. But it provides a very useful shift in thinking: from wish to reality, from obstacle to concrete action.

This fits our seven-step method well: develop a vision, assess reality, prioritise consciously, design a small experiment – and then learn what actually works.

Perhaps good intentions fail not because we want too little, but because we sometimes remain at the wishing stage too long.

Which wish really matters to me right now – and which obstacle within myself is most likely to make it difficult to realise in everyday life?

Context: This 3-Minute Insight summarises selected ideas from Gabriele Oettingen's book and her research on mental contrasting and WOOP in our own words, considering them through the research questions of the Future Skills Institut. WOOP is a scientifically studied self-regulation strategy, but it does not guarantee goal achievement and does not replace psychological, medical or other professional support.

Source: Gabriele Oettingen: Rethinking Positive Thinking (German edition; original: Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation). Droemer Knaur. Further information: WOOP – Book and method ↗ · Research on WOOP ↗ · Publisher's page ↗