The Good Life

What makes a good life? More money? Career success? Health? Freedom? Meaning?

Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz explore this major question in The Good Life . An important foundation is the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-running longitudinal studies of adult life. It began in 1938 with 724 men; over decades, it examined health, relationships, work and psychological wellbeing, among other things. Partners and subsequent generations were included later.

One finding runs particularly clearly through the book: Good relationships are among the most important factors in a healthy, satisfying life.

1. Relationships are not a soft addition to “real” life

We often treat relationships as what is left after the important things are done: first work, then tasks and obligations – and friends and family if there is time left.

The Harvard study's longitudinal data suggest we should at least question this order. People with stronger and more satisfying social relationships were not only more satisfied over their lives, but also tended to be healthier.

Relationships thus become something different: not a reward after a productive day, but part of a sustainable life.

2. The aim is not simply as much contact as possible

The message is not “the more friends, the better”. People differ in how much closeness, exchange and community they need. And not every relationship is beneficial.

What matters more is the quality of connections: are there people I can rely on? People I can speak openly with? Relationships in which support, trust and connection develop?

In this context, Waldinger also speaks of “social fitness”. Relationships do not automatically endure. They need attention and care. This rarely happens through one grand decision, but through many small ones: calling someone, not postponing a shared meal again, listening, resolving a conflict or getting in touch despite being busy.

3. Work matters – but it cannot sustain everything

This idea is particularly relevant to the work of the Future Skills Institut. Work can provide income, structure, recognition, contacts, development and meaning. It can be an important part of a good life.

Problems arise when it is expected to serve too many functions simultaneously – or when career success continually comes at the expense of relationships, health and other areas of life.

This is therefore not about “work or relationships”. Financial security and meaningful activity remain important. The more interesting question is: How can I allocate my limited time and energy so that one area is not optimised at the expense of all the others?

What we take from this

The Good Life does not provide a mathematical formula for satisfaction. Nor should the Harvard Study be overinterpreted: it began with two very specific groups of male participants from the Boston area. Long-term observations can reveal strong associations, but cannot clearly isolate every cause of a good life.

Precisely for that reason, the central finding is noteworthy: Relationships do not belong at the margins of a good life. They belong at its centre.

For the Future Skills Institut, this means that when we ask which skills people need for an uncertain future, we must look beyond technology, employability and career success. Relationship-building, empathy, communication and conflict competence are more than “soft skills”. They can be skills for a good life.

Which relationship in my life would I like to nurture a little more consciously right now?

Context: This 3-Minute Insight summarises selected ideas from the book and its underlying longitudinal research in our own words, connecting them to the research questions of the Future Skills Institut. It does not replace reading the original.

Source: Robert Waldinger & Marc Schulz (2023): The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. Simon & Schuster. Background on the Harvard Study of Adult Development: Harvard Study of Adult Development ↗